McDonald’s McRib is back: I ate it so you don’t have to (review)

The McDonald’s McRib is a perfectly mediocre sandwich enveloped in an intoxicating aura of rarity and mystique. Is it as good as the legends say? Of course not. It’s a mysterious meat sandwich coated in a tangy barbecue broth. But ultimately, it’s as difficult to separate the mythical status of the McRib as it is to remove the gravy stains that have found their way all over the place.

McDonald’s brought the hard-to-find sandwich back on menus this week, so get ready to hear a lot of opinions that don’t interest you – kind of like the Spotify Year In Review in sandwich form.

McDonald’s McRib

The McRib is your wandering, finicky uncle you only see once every few years. Sure he’s a little weird, but you love Uncle McRib. Everything is fun when he’s around. You can stay up late, eat ice cream for breakfast, and seemingly pour a tub full of barbecue sauce over a sandwich.

But then you wake up the next day and there are tire tracks from an ATV on your lawn, a $ 100 pay-per-view cable charge in your mail, and gravy stains that you mop up for another month. later.

The McRib functions as a sort of Bigfoot of the fast food industry. It’s fun to think he’s out there and even chase him. But what do you do once you find Bigfoot? You take a picture, go on with your day and realize that it smells a lot worse than you thought.

So what does it taste like?

This sandwich has a smell. It smells so much.

Long before you have a chance to open the bag and examine its contents, the smell of barbecue sauce is already making its way through all the barriers between it and your nose. No bag, box or mask will stop it. It’s like the cartoonish scent tendrils that float the characters of Looney Tunes and get swept up in the scent of a pie. Except in this case, it’s a Kool-Aid Man full of barbecue sauce running through your car window and pulling you up with a tangy brown syrup-scent Super Soaker.

In principle, the sandwich is good. There is a good roll which is soft and fluffy. Pickles and onions add a nice contrast in flavor and texture. The pork patty barely tastes like pork. Unfortunately, nothing in the sandwich is safe, slippery and slippery between the buns like the toppings of an undercooked pizza.

Everything about this sandwich has to do with the sauce. You don’t taste it as much as your tongue gets screamed at.

The “hot” sauce has some good elements, but it hits way too hard to work with anything else. It’s like playing the marimba with a sledgehammer.

The real “McRib” galette is a pressed galette of rib meat of dubious origin. It’s a little bewildering how soft and loose he is. Meat almost crumbles like a burger when you chew. But it tastes like pork, with a nice meaty flavor once you manage to get it out of the otherwise busy sandwich.

So is it good?

This sandwich is a roller coaster. If you want to get on board for the sauce dominating flavor tour, you might like it. Once that’s under control there’s a solid tasting pork patty with some nice toppings and a bun.

Otherwise, the McRib is going to take your taste buds through a miserable whirlwind of curls and corkscrews while your tongue hangs on for life.

The last word

There is a good sandwich somewhere here. But here’s the problem: I don’t think it should be a pork sandwich.

Look, I shouldn’t have to tell you that McRib isn’t a natural form of meat. It’s like a chicken nugget. There is more going on in meat than you probably want to know.

So if it’s just a sprinkle of barbecue sauce and pork flavoring, why even use pork. There are many meat substitutes that could work here. The McRib does not copy the texture of real pork very well. It’s way too loose and crumbly.

At this rate, McDonald’s should just partner up with one of these fake meat companies and start selling the McFib.

“I ate it so you didn’t have to” is a regular food column that examines offbeat foods, good and bad. It operates every other Thursday at noon.

You can send praise / food suggestions to [email protected]. Please send all complaints about the abandonment of unethical factory meat to [email protected]. He’s getting two kudos this week because he’s awesome and deserves so much credit for being a great reporter, friend, and dad. You can Discover the rest of the series here.

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